It’s been a busy summer!

I have neglected my blog. Many things have been happening at NASA JPL. We got a new director. JPL issued a return to office order. And because of budget uncertainty, we are once again, feeling the looming pressure of another layoff. This one is confirmed for October. 

Yikes, that’s next month!

For me, a return to the onsite grind is no biggie. I only live 12 miles from the Lab and I have already been going in 3 days a week. So, adding 2 more days to my weekly schedule is child’s play.

Many people report that the office homecoming is an attempt to play nice with the other NASA children. As it also applies to JPL’s remote workers who live outside of California, some speculate it is a strategic soft layoff.

But, it is difficult for me to work in a climate with so much financial vulnerability. Projects are stalled. Morale is down. Programs are afraid to invest in work they may not be able to continue. It’s easy to feel insecure, like I’m suffering from low self-esteem, hungry for validation:

Does this job make me look fat?

To deal with my JDD (Job Dysmorphic Disorder), I work on things I enjoy. I’ve been playing a lot of tennis. I’ve ramped up my running miles. And I’ve spent more time sewing. 

And I am getting better at all of these things. I’ve got a winning backhand. I’m training smarter and running stronger. And I’m sewing stretchy fabrics like a dream.

When I reflect on my accomplishments, I smile. Because in times of uncertainty, I focus on me. I can’t let external things I can’t control affect my happiness. Or give me an eating disorder.

The Summer of Joyce is coming to a close. The October layoff is fast approaching. And I don’t know what will happen. I can’t say that I am entirely prepared. But I am certain I will continue my personal pursuits and be happy.