Part 3 of 3: This is Part 3 in this series of blog posts on empathy. Click here to read part 1. Click here to read part 2.

In Parts 1 & 2, I covered the importance of listening to and creating connections with our stakeholders and customers to build relationships. In Part 3, I will address how to continue to build upon those relationships.

Engage

Now that you’re listening and connecting, you can navigate confidently and engage. Together, they suggest taking a confident and mindful approach to any situation, being aware of your surroundings, and fully engaging. This is all about having proactive involvement in whatever is happening around you.

Engage covers the idea of participating actively (show up), sharing progress regularly (show work early and often), and responding confidently to the situation (don’t be intimidated).

Show up

Show up: Be present and participate actively, without hesitation.

Get the easy stuff right: follow through on your commitments, co-locate, and be present.

Follow through on your commitments

Following through on your commitments builds trust. People will believe you will do what you set out to do. Make meetings. Be on time. If you say you’re gonna meet someone, meet them. Don’t be that flaky person who doesn’t show, arrives late, makes excuses repeatedly. People will expect that moving forward and decide you’re not reliable.

I followed through on a project last year – I said I would make improvements to an application and I delivered. In the beginning, the stakeholder was a little difficult to work with, but I carried out and made his life easier. And now, after delivering a much improved product, that difficult stakeholder is an easy person to work with. In fact, he is now a great ally, and is very helpful. Trust has been established by following through on my commitment.

Co-locate

Another part of show up: Co-locate. Co-locating means to work in the space where your stakeholders are.

I have an assigned desk and space on Lab, but I very rarely work there. It looks a little sad these days. Here is a photo of my sad, abandoned desk:

The reason I don’t work from assigned desk, is because I choose to work near my customers and stakeholders. Discussions and collaborations are easier because we work in close proximity.

Be present

Three simple ways to be present: show your face, turn your camera on, and smile.

Show your face.
Go in person, meaning, physically going to your workplace office to perform your job duties, rather than working remotely. The people who are in the office more, get promoted over those who do not.

Over the past year, remote workers were promoted 31% less frequently than people who worked in an office (Chen, 2024, Remote Workers Are Losing Out on Promotions, New Data Shows).

I especially emphasize working in the office for those who are just starting out in your career. This is a non-negotiable if you want to move up in your career, be seen as a leader, make progress in establishing your craft. This is a must.

Turn your camera on.
In video meetings, make yourself seen and have a presence. You are doing a huge disservice by not turning your camera on. Show your face. A camera that is off tells others you’re not paying attention, or you’re doing other things. Be involved in the meeting by turning your camera on.

Smile.
When you smile, you make others feel good and you contribute positively to your world and the world of others.

“The world is filled with hundreds of languages. A smile speaks in all of them.”

– John C Maxwell, The 16 Undeniable Laws of Communication

If you can smile while saying something constructive to someone, it’s one of the best ways to build a person while at the same time being constructive. I actually do this, I say very constructive things, and it is not taken in a bad way. But this came with practice. It does not come natural to me.

Show Work Early and Often

Share your work with others early and often. This brings people into your world and your process.

“When we can’t understand how something works, we use our own flawed ideas based on feelings instead of facts. And this can lead to mistrust.”

– Bob Hutchins 

When you show your work early and often, you bring people with you. You build trust by letting them in early to your thought processes and ideas. Don’t wait to the final deliverables or things to be so well thought out and pixel perfect. You put yourself, your work, and design at a disadvantage if you wait to show final work.

Find opportunities to present, show, and talk about your work. If there are opportunities in meetings, be ready to show and speak about your work. Put your work up around the office space. Invite people over to your desk and show them. Show it at brown bag lunches. The opportunities are endless. Evangelize you and your work. The key here is: present, present, present.

Don’t Be Intimidated

Don’t be intimidated: Approach situations with confidence, regardless of challenges.

Yes, the people I work with at NASA JPL are super duper smart (they are rocket scientists!), but I have to go in with the mindset to not be intimidated. They are human (just like you and me!), they’re not gods. They happen to be brilliant people with multiple PHDs, so treat them like humans, they have an opinion.

At the same time, I project confidence. I don’t have a PHD. I don’t have a Masters. I have a Bachelors of Fine Arts. In painting. The point is the following: I can’t be intimated by them. I have to be comfortable and confident in myself. And I have to project that.

When people can feel and see when you are not confident, they will not buy into your ideas or anything you have to say. Make eye contact, stand and walk with good posture, don’t slouch, speak clearly and confidently. But don’t be bossy!

OKay, Let’s recap

As a designer, I use all of the points covered in Parts 1 -3 to build trusting relationships with my stakeholders and customers. They come to me with anything on their mind, and partner with me to help them do their jobs better!

Here’s a summary:

Focus on building relationships with customers to deliver value. Do the following authentically and confidently to build meaningful connections and understand their problems:

• Be curious: Approach interactions with a mindset of learning.
• Take an interest: Actively care about others’ perspectives and experiences.
• Make them feel heard: Listen and validate others’ thoughts and feelings.
• Learn their tools: Understand the methods and resources important to others.
• Create connections: Build strong, trust-based relationships.
• Use small words: Speak in simple terms. Communicate in a way that resonates with others’ language and style.
• Show up: Be present and actively engage in every situation.
• Show your work early and often: sharing your progress regularly. Don’t wait to show your final work.
• Don’t be intimidated: Approach situations with confidence, regardless of potential challenges.

We don’t have to know the ins and outs of how our customers do their jobs, we just need to listen and understand their problems. And once we understand their problems, we can then work together to solve those problems. Work gets easier as friction is reduced and trust builds.